Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Heart vs Brain

Soul vs Sense; Architecture vs Horticulture; Man vs Women. How the pianist has put up with my plant peccadilloes over the years is a tribute to her tolerance of my relative inanity! Since I am a  known pruneophobic, I have so far succeeded in withstanding all efforts to curb both my enthusiasm for large house plants, and for not curbing them from wherever they want to wander. I am not a stern parent with plants, as I want them to be happy and free, as I am. They are more like my brothers. My 30 year old rubber tree is about 25 feet tall and the view of our stairs to the bedroom is now hidden in its underbrush. A female realtor carefully suggested, not to give offense, that the architecture of the stairway was of such interest it would be an advantage to see it. My equally old Hoya vine  climbs up to the top of a 28 foot beam to the bedroom and balances the rubber tree. The realtor suggested that a mighty beam of that nature might usefully be seen advantageously as well, rather than assumed to be there! A second Hoya in the dining room had penetrated into the ceiling boards in an attempt to escape the room. This Easter weekend will be a watershed for these plants since the pianist, my daughters and the realtor all have agreed that I have reached the end of the road and must control my neurosis. They were kind and no one suggested I was weird. Radical pruning of the rubber tree will produce a pint of white sap to be collected so sheets over the rug below are a must. The Hoyas will cling to ceiling and beam, and we may hear them scream, so ear plugs are a must. Since I am an Asclepiad by profession , I am related in a sense to the Hoya (Asclepiadaceae), my cousin. I know that the women are right! I have strained the pianist's forbearance long enough. The heavy artillery has acted. Group intervention was necessary! It's tough love! I am my brother's keeper after all is said and done. Group therapy may be needed for us plants but that will come. The architecture and common sense has  prevailed. Still, I hope romance is not entirely dead.

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